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To Becca   
05:48pm 17/02/2007
  To Rebecca. I do know the feeling I had it really bad last year and this year I gave up. It makes me really sad and I decided not to think about it. I'm not saying you should ignor it. I'm just saying I know the feeling and you'll always have me around ... I mean look how far we've come. My dad once told me "as we grow older our friends grow farther and relationships get stronger and you learn that thats ok because you'll soon realize you have good close friends. The ones who although they may be far away they made the effort." I denied it and it hit me last year that thats what happend to me and I realized I was ok with it. And most of my friends I still see. So dont worry Becca be bitchy and sad. It will help in the long run and then you can laugh about it.

Feel Better		  
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I'm Done   
07:37pm 30/01/2007
  I'm done being pushed around by my mothers emotions. In the end I will never be good enough and I will always hurt her feelings. I don't really know how I do it but, I honestly feel I remind her of the divorce that happened when I was 13....I'm almost 18 now and she still hasn't moved on and every thing I do reminds her of it. I don't want to go home cause if I do we will get into a fight and Zane will take her side and make me feel even more unwanted. Things were working fine till I left some thing at Moms house and now I'm avoiding her? That wasn't even a thought that crossed my mind. I don't know what to say to her and I'm honestly sick to death of trying. I'm gonna find a way to move out ASAP cause I can't stand living this life any more. I've out grown it and I don't need it any more. And really, truely ...shes being a big baby and shes being greedy. I'm not the couch that you have to decide who gets it in the end. I'm the kid who will eventually live my own life. I went from a father who let me have that room to grow to a mother who wont let me go. It's stupid. I never thought I would end up the one being the adult ...with my own mother. I knew this day would come ...but I wasn't ready for it.  
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A movie in need of people.   
02:44pm 28/01/2007
  The name of the movie is "Final Company"
It's based off of my favorte movies. "Lord of the Rings" "Treasure Island" "Bill and Ted"

The story is about 2 "Hibbit" girls named Jamie and Cloe they find 3 orbs that will destroy the world if they don't return them to the Water Goddes. It's one of those save the world movies but ... it's funny and has a big cast. I have only a few parts left in need of casting. If your interested send me a comment and I'll write you back with more detail. The movie is to be shot over this summer.
The parts are:

Pirate1(male)
Pirate2(male)
Farmer(male)
ghost (any)
Party Guests (any)

If you are cast I will need your phone numbers and I will need to know you are deticated to this production. The last thing I want is some one who wants the spotlight but wont show up when they are needed. Thank you.		  
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Stupid Friends   
06:14pm 14/01/2007
  So I just rearanged Zanes room so I could have a space to live. He said that was cool but then when his friends came over he bitched at me for taking up all the space. I so didn't. Any way he said don't worry about it and he was really nice to me untill his friends were around. I wanted to kill him.  
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12:31am 04/01/2007
  so...yeah... Im sick of tring... it's not up to me it's up to him and you know what I mean.

Im pulling a becca		  
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What a new year holds for me.   
04:21am 01/01/2007
  Well it's the first of the new year, lets hope it's ALOT better then the last. I'm moving in with mom and Dad is moving in with Delta. We're starting a new. Lets hope it goes well. James can you just marry me now and we'll run off togeather, I think I have better chances doing that then sitting around my moms house. lol. I mean it.....

Ok...deep breath right? And lets pray for the new year to work out. Man this is hard.

" Always look on the bright side of life"
Erik Idol "Life of Brian"

OMG....Please help me.


One day....		  
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Christmas Party   
07:25pm 17/12/2006
  Every year I go to this. It's a bunch of my moms friends and friends from my babyhood. So you know those crowds. Everyone has a bunch of screaming children that you want to kill.

The other day mom took me and James to meet a friend and James seemed so stiff and uncomfortable it drove mom crazy. Later on I asked James what was up and he said he was still scared of my mom. For anyone who knows my mom you understand Jims pain.

So last night, my mom decided to have some drinks, the kids had "Santa" give them presents,me and James got some as well only we ditched the party to go have a talk so that part of the party was alittle stressful. But when we got back it was obvious we had been having a heavy conversation and we both looked stressed. Yet the minute we walked in the door everyone screamed " Baylees here! Baylees here! Santa! Santa! Baylees here" so i tried to avoid it and couldn't.

The screaming kids left and the cool adults were left. The ones I know from beimg a kid. These people kick so much as. Anyway so this is a champagne drinking party and thats what we did. Mom decided to let it all go and me and James were telling her she had had enough. But mom mae such a fool of herself infrount of James he told me he was alright with here now because he realized she can be cool. So they were buddies the rest of the night.

James took her wine glass and drank it so she couldn't. Then She reached for her class and said "who took my wine?" and James started laughing. I took her cuo and she asked me to get her a new one cuse some one took hers. I said it was me and she got mad and made me get her a drink. Then when we cut her off for good, she kept trying to take my champagne. We had to wait for her to sober up befor we could go home and that took forever. lol ...

All around the party was alot of fun, way more fun than last year, and our friends kept making fun of us and saying we ran off to go make out. Brady called my mom his mother in law. He told James to give a drink to his mother in law, and Bradys girlfriend called me his wife. It was good. I wish I had Pictures.		  
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11:38pm 04/12/2006
  uh.... I hate being sick ... oh for fuck sake  
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Forgot again   
12:15pm 24/11/2006
 
mood: blah
music: TV
Yeah so I forgot I had an LJ again. hows every one. I'm sure we all are up to date on the most recent shit if not, to bad cuz I'm not posting it. I made a new friend. And my dad crashed and burned after turkey day he broke down crying randomly ... poor guy hes so stressed about are money situation, That's the suckyest part of not living with your parents. Well things seem to be ok now. But ug.		  
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04:27pm 30/10/2006
  I keep forgetting I have one of these. TOMORROWS HALLOWEEN!!!!  
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Death   
05:00pm 18/10/2006
 
mood: annoyed
I think my LJ died, but at the moment I sitting here at the computer in front of my window and some noise out side sounds like a very mad dog trying to eat little kids. But I think it's a chair being dragged.		  
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01:41pm 08/10/2006
  My Fuckin LJs color went some where and it wont come back .. it keeps telling me theres an error on the page and wont fix my retard journal.

Ok .. i have a face book come see me there		  
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10:26pm 06/10/2006
 
mood: crappy
music: Daniel Boons theme song
Today, I have officially decided ... I'M SICK AS A DOG ON A HOT SUMMERS DAY!!! and my Oklahoman expressions are coming out.

God I hate Oklahoma.

So the other day I discovered Jims' mom took a picture with my great, great uncle Fess Parker at Disneyland when she was a little girl. My Uncle was Daniel Boon. It's a good show actually. But it was funny to think my boyfriends mom was a fan of my great, great uncle back in the day.

James you better be takin VERY good care of my pillow...okaaaaaaaaaaaay!

I really don't have much to say,

According to Diko I look like a mom and he forgets my name so he calls me mom.
I love that kid. I hope I have a kid like him for reals.

This years is really different from what I thought it was gonna be. I actually have made lots of new friends. That's cool but they all think I'm silly for living in the theater. I think Diko is the only one who actually comes with me to the theater. But I love being with my Theater chums. ok... I need to try and go to sleep.		  
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05:03pm 02/10/2006
  All right .... I'm bored  
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Im alone again   
05:45pm 01/10/2006
 
mood: depressed
Ha ha wow I've had a lot to say on line in the last few days.

I'm home alone again, dad said they wont be home till late. No ones on line and I'm still really upset about what my mom said. Every time I remember it, it makes me cry.What defines a grown up than,

If staying home alone
Cooking your own dinner
Getting your self up in the morning to go to school
Making your own lunch
Cleaning the house
Making sure you have clean cloths for the up coming week
Finishing all your home work because you know you should
Looking for a job
Occasionally being home alone with your brother and having to take care of him like your kid
Getting everyone to bed and getting them up in the morning
Isn't grown up enough than what is?

How many of you out there feel like you take care of your parents?
How many of you out there have younger siblings to take care of and you still go to school?
wouldn't you be pissed if you put in all that elbow grease then got shot down at your weakest moment?

I hate this... and it's only her. It's only my mom who makes everything so damn hard.

I haven't done anything wrong!!!!! fuck off!!		  
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03:58pm 01/10/2006
 
mood: sad
music: The sound of my hart spliting
So I just got off the phone with my mom who apparently had no idea I was gonna stay with james this week. I guess dad said I was gonna stay at her place. I feel I may have fucked something up. But any way my mom decided she wanted to scream at me on the phone.

Note: Some thing my mom is really good at is this... I call to ask her some random question and she brings up something that we fight over.

So any way here I am asking her a simple homework question and than she blows up on me for wanting to stay with James ... She says "your not grown up yet" and that really hurt. The way she said it made me cry. I may not be a "grown up" but I will be by law in 8 months. That may be a ways off but I still thought that was hart less. I'm in a very hard situation and my mom pulls the your to young card. I fail to see what I've done so wrong in her eyes.

I want to know something ... what does my age have to do with keeping my self on track during this time. I'm getting pushed out of the house. I need friends. Not to mention it's so much easier getting to school from his house.

I honestly think my mom is still mad at the fact that I didn't come live with her when my parents split up. Fuck! get over it please. I understand that's hard but I'm not a toy to play with and I like the relationship we have more when I'm not living with her.

I don't want to do my homework.		  
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homeless   
10:38am 01/10/2006
  So....It's finlay come to the point in my life where I have to move in with James for a week. Things here are getting nutty. I'm not getting kicked out, I'm just the only one with friends I can live with and a mom. Delta, Sada, and Trav need a room to stay in for a week at the least. They were kicked out of there apartment under VERY unfair circumstances. So they can't move in to there new apartment till the people in it move out. And they can't move out till after next monday. Pwha, yup your all gonna hate me here soon ... this is getting hard to deal with.  
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halloweeeeeeeeeennnnnny   
04:04pm 30/09/2006
 
mood: amused
music: one eyed,one horned, flying purple people eater
The radio at the Halloween costume store.
"It was a one eyed,one horned, flying purple people eater"

Baylee and the radio.
"one eyed,one horned, flying purple people eater
one eyed,one horned, flying purple people eater
sure looks strange to me"

James to Baylee
"Why do you know the words to this song?"

Baylee to James
"Cause I saw the movie"

James to Baylee
"What movie?"

Baylee to James
"The one eyed,one horned, flying purple people eater movie"

James to Baylee
"that's a movie"

Baylee goes off and plays with the costumes		  
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10:34pm 29/09/2006
 
mood: calm
music: Tubthumper
So ... I found out my kids name, lol only he has no clue hes my kid but he's so damn cute. Other wise life's been crazy. I have work up the wazoo. No ones home right now I'm not sure if I care. I was thinking next semester I could take on line classes at SMC and then more classes in the summer so I can get a year out of the way and be ahead of my self. I think that's my favorite place to be ... ahead of my own self. Aw well. I love James and miss him sooooooo much. I'm sure everyone at Uni is sick of me talking about him. ( This was written 2 days ago)

for today 9-29-06

I went to my job interview today. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. I like the guy who would be my boss if I get the job. He's so laid back and cool. He was fun to talk to. The people there are really nice so I'm really not to worried. I think I'll give my teachers a heads up so they don't eat my face. My life could get VERY complex here VERY soon. I have dub Monday do all home work day cause I don't have any school. Maybe I can finish some more driving school.

P.S Just a note to the new seniors..... don't be assholes.... it's so cheep.		  
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At the peek of a 180 turn.   
10:45pm 19/09/2006
 
music: "love slave" Green Day
So I've managed to master the "Ignore It And Stay Happy Method" My life has gone nuts. My dad, as we all know, quit his job to go to school. All seems well. Well now, as some of you know, Mark has lost his job. So the chances of us moving in with our friend Delta is likely. Only she lives with he husband, a dog, and her sister. So I hope James and Becca wont mind if I stay over a lot. I don't think I could deal with the depression and lack of space after I have mastered the "Ignore It And Stay Happy Method." Unhealthy? I don't think so. Work? LOTS! I also have to get a weekend job now to help out. Some thing I don't like about life, "one can be, and I quote "'The toast of Europe, The brightest stare ever to grace the stage'" but lose one stupid job....		  
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